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Youth

by Tom Haydock

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1.
I'm looking at you, drowning in your eyes But you walk away, as if you despise me Why do you make me feel I’m invisible Make me understand it’s impossible But I wish you looked at me just for one time You've got to realise that I just need you And I wish you could see me 'cause then you would find Someone who would die just for you But you're so far, a million light-years away You can't seem to feel the same way as I do anyway Inaccessible, still I try to reach you If only you could see how much I want you But I wish you looked at me just for one time You've got to realise that I just need you And I wish you could see me 'cause then you would find Someone who would die just for you How can you see me when I'm so faraway? You remain distant, don't try to communicate I try to move closer but you stay away So unimportant, I'm feeling so frustrated But I wish you looked at me just for one time You've got to realise that I just need you And I wish you could see me 'cause then you would find Someone who would die just for you
2.
Looking for a lost reality Nothing left to hope for I know you got your little problems But drowning them won’t make things better Self-destruction, what’s become your inner self ? You keep burning yourself out Got nothing to hang on to Chorus : You’re wise and you’re beautiful But if you keep giving in You’ll just waste yourself, waste yourself Don’t you become another victim Don’t become another clone Influenced by fake friends around you Don’t hold your hand out - you deserve better Alienation, you’ve become somebody else Got to fight from the inside And change into someone new Chorus Self-destruction, what’s become your inner self? Got to fight from the inside And change into someone new Chorus
3.
I'm lying in wait for the phone to ring I check if it's working every five minutes or so I wonder what new lame excuse you're gonna find to justify yourself this time If you're trying to disgust me, it's just the right way But if it's not intended I'd like you to realise how you make me feel You see me through a wall of false ideas But there is more than meets the eye You're not just like any old friend You mean more to me than that Should I call you right now - It might seem too harassing Should I leave you to do it - might have to wait for two weeks again I'm torn between my inner pride and all the feelings that remain even with the things you put me through Do you know how it hurts when you keep blocking my way? And if it's just unconscious I'd like you to understand this is more than real You see me through a wall of false ideas But there is more than meets the eye You're not just like any old friend You mean more to me than that But now you're gone All of my dreams, you just ripped them to pieces But it's so hard All of my life regrets will haunt me All of my life... deleted lyrics : Why didn't I tell you? I waited too long, said I'd do it later I should've taken action You saw me through a wall of false ideas But there was more than met the eye You weren't just like any old friend You meant more to me than that
4.
Head High 04:19
Hi, I’m back. Do you remember me? Got to set things straight before I let you go You left without saying goodbye Before we’re through I gotta let you know I loved you. So many tears I cried just to see you I feared you. So much pain I felt when I tried to grasp you Got my head high even though I feel it’s unachieved Went out head high. Look at me now – who do you see? Didn’t even care to listen to me When I finally managed to let it out And you just didn’t give a fuck When in your face I tried to cry it out I’ll tell you: I’ll have you know that I’m feeling better Forgotten you, all of me and you and all I’ve been through Got my head high even though I feel it’s unachieved Went out head high. Look at me now – who do you see? (deleted lyrics : Emotions hidden away by fear, shyness and insecurity During all this time I kept it inside Once I won against my inhibitions, once I was ready When I finally let it out you were nowhere to be found) Got my head high… Mmmh Went out head high… Mmmh Got my head high even though I feel it’s unachieved Went out head high. Look at me now – who do you see? And I hope you feel sorry now (scat) Head High…
5.
Space Farmer 04:15
Woke up this morning, my girl next to me Can’t remember all that we shared Didn’t expect that to happen, thought she didn’t want me Now I’m all shook up, no I wasn’t quite prepared Her incense is all around me All of my clothes smell of her now This is so strange, weird and somehow everything’s new to me We gotta turn it into something good, but then I’m not quite sure how I got the blues, I got the blues I can’t stand up cos I don’t fit in my shoes Where this leads I don’t really know Anyway I’ll do it cos I got nothing to lose Woke up this morning hugging the sheets Was I just a dream I had then? I don’t know but one thing is sure, when I hear my heart beat Think of her all the time, is she in my head again? Before it even really strikes me Everything’s changed but everything’s the same Now I miss her even more when she moves closer to me Too late to turn back now, now we’ve got to win the game
6.
Waiting 04:06
Wake up in the middle of the night Get up and watch the city lights Because I can’t sleep tonight, no I just can’t sleep tonight Outside everything is glowing Don’t want to disturb you as you’re sleeping As I’m looking, as I’m waiting Our bodies melt into one I’m in heaven Don’t wake me up from this dream I’m waiting, waiting for you I’m waiting, waiting for you As we sink and as we go under the earth Our souls get closer to each other We get together, we fuse together And I’m dreaming you’re the one & only Cos if it’s not you who will it be? The one to love me, to love me Our bodies melt into one I’m in heaven Don’t wake me up from this dream I’m waiting, waiting for you I’m waiting, waiting for you You’re wrong, I hope someday you’ll realise Why can’t you see my heart in your eyes? Too bad, got work to do And forget, time to move on
7.
Where is she 03:11
I’ve lost someone that never really was mine I’ve been looking for her for a very long time Many many times I thought I had her But I was wrong I couldn’t find my treasure I’ve looked for her everywhere Over here and over there Looked for her everywhere Where is she? x3 She must be hiding, and if that’s really the case She must be well hidden cos I can’t find the right place It would be so easy if she just showed up But somehow she doesn’t seem to make her mind up I’ve looked for her everywhere Over here and over there Looked for her everywhere Where is she? x3 Lost among the crowd of ordinary people Hidden behind the faces of every other woman Isn’t it supposed to be a little more simple? Or am I getting too used to complication? I’ve looked for her everywhere Over here and over there Looked for here everywhere Where is she? x2
8.
Kamikaze 04:22
I’m on my plane, got my heart to deliver While I fly I feel it getting bigger and bigger I’m about to explode though I know it’s not the right way Shouldn’t be such a sad boy, I know but anyway… I’m in this game, trying not to lose I know how to play, but there’s too many rules One thing I discovered is that love cannot be deserved Might be worth a thousand others but if I haven’t got the nerve…. I’m a kamikaze Blowing me up, I’m suicidal I’m a love fool, but believe me I’d so much prefer it to be normal I’ve often dreamt I told you all I wanted But it’s quite clear that no excuse is granted Once again, what I should do, is talking instead of letters But I fell, fell for you, and thought writing would be better I’m a kamikaze Blowing me up, I’m suicidal I’m a love fool, but believe me I’d so much prefer it to be normal I’m about to explode though I know it’s not the right way Shouldn’t be such a sad boy, I know but anyway… I’m a kamikaze Blowing me up, I’m suicidal I’m a love fool, but believe me I’d so much prefer it to be normal I’m a kamikaze Blowing me up, I’m suicidal I’m a love fool, but believe me I’d so much prefer it to be normal
9.
Tale of two 04:01
Instrumental track. Intended lyrics (by Carolina) : Content he was walking, discovering while talking That lo and behold his English was weak She came along, sang to his song And off they went down the street Slowly but surely she saw he was curly Her fingers she twirled along the soft strands He fell asleep and tucked in his feet On her small bed of faraway lands His kisses were sweet, what fun they did meet While talking of subjects that mattered When words had been said, they just stayed in bed And paid no heed to clothes that were tattered She knew how to dance and gave him a chance To prove himself and his manliness And with a great frown she decided to sit down And understand this whole jazz business He wanted to see her but only to please her So he asked kindly & respectfully Up she arose, barebacked and posed And his hands discovered simplicity Walking to classes they followed the masses With deviations never prepared Often they drank, together on one tank Biting into this piece of life they shared Too soon he was gone, her heart all gone wrong For she had let him cry on her shoulder Tears invaded her system as she thought of how she missed him And the coals that once burned now smouldered Happily she retraces all the wonderful paces Together they took hand in hand But she must let go, and he help her do so By not rubbing it in with more sand They had to be clever and never proclaimed “forever” Knowing it was not going to last But she has changed, will never be the same And has one more story in her past Yes it does hurt, like too much dessert But she knows how to make sugar from a sour lemon Now dawn comes after night, watch what I say with all my might I hope your eyes can listen to everything here written
10.
Goodnight 04:00
Laugh & smile together Teach & educate each other Tell each other the biggest secrets of our lives Dance & get sexy together Tickle, stroke, and hug each other Getting closer to each other every time We bounce off each other to do the maddest things We just need to say “let’s go!” to know the night is just beginning Pleasantly, gently, softly, we’re killing each other, but we make sure it’s that way You are all I ever wanted A dance partner, partygoer You follow me and listen to me You give me everything I needed You love me as much as I DO Give me affection and self-confidence too You're my friend and I'm glad I found all that in you But I'm not in love, can't afford to fall now for you You already are in love and I'll be gone shortly So let's not go all the way But please, please, before we get torn apart by circumstances, let me kiss you one last time This night may last forever, but still… goodnight, goodnight Goodnight, goodnight.
11.
Youth 03:19
Running, running till the end Stopping and catching our breath Getting dizzy again The love and the passion have just started today Cos we laugh and we cry Stay up until we die Though we know we decide we just don’t care And we party all night Stay awake until daylight We’re in love and not going anywhere Youthful and lively and reckless and unaware When we open our eyes We want to see it all and discover everywhere Cos we laugh and we cry Stay up until we die Though we know we decide we just don’t care And we party all night Stay awake until daylight We’re in love and not going anywhere Then I’m gone And suddenly it’s being taken away Where am I ? I’m far away, there’s no going back To this dream, to this dream... Cos we laugh and we cry Stay up until we die Though we know we decide we just don’t care And we party all night Stay awake until daylight We’re in love and not going anywhere Though we know we decide we just don’t care We’re in love and not going anywhere

about

“Youth” is a virtual album that I wrote, composed, arranged by myself, and on which I sang and recorded all the instruments except strings.

credits

released November 20, 2012

All songs written, composed, arranged by Omashay.
All instruments and vocals performed by Omashay except for cello & violin on "Goodnight"

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Tom Haydock Paris, France

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